


Nine Years Time and an Eternity of Worth

by MayaMistaken



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Smut, all that good shit, and oh yeah the homeworld gems have all become crystal gems too, bad pearl, but just mentioned - Freeform, lots of drinking on p's part, pearl does a shit ton of introspection, pearl makes a lot of questionable life choices, the rest of the gems are in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:27:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4907200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayaMistaken/pseuds/MayaMistaken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pearl left the Crystal Gems with little to no explanation, leaving behind a note as her only trace. She didn't want to be found and whether or not she would return was unknown.</p><p>For nine years, Amethyst had to push her questions and concerns about her departure to the back of her head just so she could function without the gem she loved on a day to day basis.</p><p>But now, a familiar gem stands before her, somehow seeming like a complete stranger and a lost memory at the same time.</p><p>(heavily based on the "Bad Pearl" concept, though probably not as extreme)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Make it up to me

Pearl had left 9 years ago.

Amethyst remembers it vaguely, mainly because there wasn’t a lot of fine detail to remember.

It had been an average day, Steven, who was 17 at the time, had gone on a road trip with Connie and few other friends he had managed to acquire over the years and Pearl had already expressed a lack of presence by then. She came home for less variants of time and less frequently and her behavior had become rather brooding and disengaged from the one’s she was close to. Amethyst had a strong feeling that it was the harsh reality of Rose never returning rearing it’s ugly head once again now that Steven was almost of legal age in this society. Almost an adult.

The purple gem had expected nothing of coming home to a Pearl-less house again, but Garnet, Jasper, Lapis, and Peridot were all gathered around the couch seemingly looking very distressed. When Amethyst inquired what the issue was, Garnet thrust a small piece of paper towards her. She had read it a million times in an hour, the meaning so clear but it still not seeming quite right.

In Pearl’s looping, neat handwriting, she had stated that she needed to be by herself for an indefinite amount of time and would prefer they not search for her.

Amethyst’s reaction was instant. Her body went cold and her eyes hot and her mouth achingly dry. She dropped the note with trembling hands, immediately bolting into her room to release the onslaught of emotions that were suffocating her. She wandering her room indefinitely for days, tears only making themselves present when she came across one of her piles, now stacked into a symmetrical and neat arrangement with another note centered on its mass.

“I’m sorry”, it read.

 

And now Amethyst stood on the boardwalk of the significantly expanded and modernized Beach City, staring at a single form standing on the shoreline. The person had one their back to her, one hand in their pocket and another dangling at their side, a cigarette delicately clasped between their fingers. Fresh tears spilled from Amethyst’s eyes as her eyes dragged to the cropped, peach hair and the familiar pale skin peeking from their rolled jacket sleeves.

 _“Pearl?!”_ the figure whipped around at the call, crystalline blue eyes meeting watery dark-violet. Pearl stared at Amethyst for a few heartbeats, her face having hardened since they had last seen each other, before a small smile spread across her lips as she turned to face the smaller gem fully. Pearl threw her cigarette on the ground, stomping on it and extending her arms outward, Amethyst taking the hint and charging towards her, boots flinging sand lengths behind her from the speed.

Jumping into Pearl’s opened arms, Amethyst was immediately caught by thin, leather clad arms and squeezed harshly but securely. Amethyst buried her nose in the other’s neck, the smell of cigarette smoke and flowers filling her nose. In return, she felt the large nose pressing into the crown of her ever-disheveled hair, the subtle vibrations of chuckling coming from Pearl’s throat.

Slender fingers weaved through Amethyst’s hair, lightly tugging her back so that their eyes could lock. Pearl’s heavily lined eyes were filled with love and sympathy, meeting Amethyst’s then glancing at the streams of tears flowing down her plump cheeks. Amethyst’s breath hitched when she leaned forward, thin lips grazing the tear tracks under both eyes before hesitantly drifting to hover above Amethyst’s plump one’s.

“I’m sorry.” The apology was barely a hot puff of air against Amethyst’s trembling lips. A frenzy of emotions rushed through the shorter gem.

She was mad at her for leaving, for not telling her where or why she left. Pearl was the one person she was truly in love with, and the pale gem knew this. She was so angry. But at the same time, her heart was leaping from her chest and hammering against her ribcage with joy at the thought of having her back. The apology embedded itself in her bosom with a flourish of warmth. Amethyst swallowed thickly, eyes swimming still swimming with the remnants of tears.

“Make it up to me.”

The words served as a snapping point for Pearl, darting forward to meet their mouths together. Their lips dragged against each other, slow and deliberate, revelling in the sensation of being together again. Pearl staggered backwards just a bit before plopping down to sit on the sand, Amethyst’s weight now resting on her lap rather than her arms, allowing her to grasp the purple gems face and press their lips harder together. Amethyst felt Pearl’s tongue lap at her plump lips, automatically parting them to allow Pearl to swipe her tongue into her mouth and rub against her own. After a substantial amount of making out, the two parted, heaving from the intensity of their kiss.

“God, P.” Amethyst huffed, smiling slightly as a blush made itself present on Pearl’s hardened face at the nickname. “I missed you so much.”

“I’m so sorry, Amethyst. I just ... “ Pearl fumbled over her words, eyes dropping downwards and clearing her throat. Amethyst took this time to inspect over her long lost lover.

Her hair was shaggier than it was usually, strands of hair haphazardly swept halfway over her gem rather than neatly curled around it. She was clad in a well-worn leather jacket, the shirt underneath cropped to show her flat stomach and the glint of a piercing on her navel, tiny scars littered all about her once flawless skin. Her pants had rips all along the length of her legs, the shoes on her feet plain and scuffed. She looked like an entirely different Pearl, edgy and brooding, but at the same time, thrilling.

“Amethyst?” the short gem snapped back to attention from her inspection, slightly spooked when her eyes darted back up to meet Pearl’s, which were now burning with an icy fire that Amethyst had never seen before.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Amethyst’s heart seemed to cease its unneeded beating and her illusionary blood ran cold at the three words. All efforts of filling her lungs with air seemed impossible and her tongue shriveled in any attempts to voice any words.

Their relationship had shone into romantic light before Pearl had disappeared, though the pale gem’s past involvement with the now deceased founder of the Crystal Gems had put stress on it more often than not. Pearl would sometimes be attached to Amethyst at the hip, showering the shorter gem in hyper-focused affection and lovemaking, but other times, past memories and grief would real her back in, leaving herself to seclusion for days at a time.

No matter whether Pearl’s mood was high or low, the dancer had always struggled with returning those three words to Amethyst. Usually, when Amethyst would say them, all that was returned was a heartfelt “thank you” or a smile. The shorter gem had always been understanding. Pearl had known and been attached to Rose for thousands of years longer than her, and she didn’t want to pressure the dancer into anything if she wasn’t comfortable. The kisses and cuddles had been enough prove of Pearl’s love for Amethyst.

But now, those three words came so clearly and warmly from Pearl’s lips, hitting Amethyst down to her very core. Pearl held Amethyst’s shocked gaze nervously but steadily.

Thick, trembling lips were split into the largest grin to grace the shorter gems face in all of her time of existence, a choked sob of happiness escaping her. Amethyst flung her full weight on Pearl, knocking Pearl onto her back as Amethyst burrowed into her neck, smiling and crying with such pure and euphoric joy as she repeated a chorus of “I love you, too”’s over and over. Pearl laughed joyfully, tears now beginning to trickle from her dark-lined eyes as she clutched Amethyst with such vigor and strength that she feared she might break her.

The two laid in the sand, playing a game of Marco Polo with their statement of “I love you” and “I love you, too”’s, only ceasing the mantra to embrace each other in passionate and teary kisses.

Eventually Pearl would return to the house and make her return known to Steven, Garnet, Peridot, Jasper, and Lapis and explain where she had been and what she had done, but now, her and Amethyst were perfectly content with just having each other.

 

 


	2. Tell me why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl elaborates on her disappearance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there be smut and nipple piercings ahead captain
> 
> also pearl goes to hard
> 
> also bonus drawing i did of my portrayal of bad pearl at the end, though the tattoos are slightly different.

It had been four days since Pearl’s return.

The two had stayed contently wrapped around each other until the sun had long set, both reluctant to let go and face the reality of their fellow Crystal Gems. Eventually the chill of the night ocean breeze sobered them from their love-drunk trances, the pair getting up and brushing the sand from their clothes. Amethyst walked Pearl back to the house, noting how the pale gem’s hand that was clasped around her own gripped her’s like an unyielding vice.

There had been varying reactions amongst all of the Crystal Gems, though no matter the complexity of emotion, each and every one of them were baffled by the drastic changes in Pearl’s appearance. She looked almost raw and delinquent, though her daintiness was still somehow present.

Needless to say, the tensions in the house had been almost tangible for the past few days. Pearl had elected to slowly acclimate the house to her presence, not staying in the main foyer for extended periods of time and escaping to the her room when she could feel the awkwardness thicken. Amethyst swooped in promptly after, trekking to the room of fountains to sit and nap with Pearl, the couple more than happy to spend copious amounts of time with one another. Pearl had even joined Amethyst to trek around her cluttered room, seemingly more tolerant of the disorder but still having a twinge of discomfort when they passed a particular large pile of clutter.

The couple were now resting in said shorter gem’s room, Pearl curled in a lounging Amethyst’s lap. Pearl seemed to be dozing, which she had been doing fairly regularly since she arrived. Yet another surprising change to add to the ever-growing list.

Before getting comfortable, the pale gem had removed her leather jacket and tossed it over the arm of the couch they currently were cuddling on. Amethyst made a small note that it did not dissipate into light then non-existence when it was discarded, meaning that it was not something Pearl had phased on with her gem. It was a real article of clothing. Not an illusion. She fleetingly wondered if the rest of Pearl’s attire was the same.

She was even more taken aback by the multitude of tattoos that were now displaying themselves on Pearl’s arms, some peaking from the hem of her cropped shirt. On one arm, pink roses were vibrantly drawn on her shoulder, trailing down and becoming duller as they near and dissolved at her elbow. On her other arm, written boldly and proud on her inner bicep, read “STRONG IN THE REAL WAY”. Amethyst thought she had seen a glimpse of a few black tendrils resembling lacework underneath her shirt as it raised up slightly, but opted not to ask.

A purple hand gently ran itself through Pearl’s soft and rumpled hair, Amethyst staring lovingly at the gem napping against her. The pale gem had washed her makeup off earlier in her room using the water from her fountains, the remnants of her thick eyeliner still on her face but returning her face into it’s former softness from nine years ago and prior.

Pearl was startled awake when Amethyst’s thumb grazed her ever-sensitive gem, vision bleary from her rest. Realizing it was only her lover playing with her peachy locks, the taller gem merely muttered something incoherent and nuzzle back into Amethyst, letting her eyes slip shut again.

“Hey … Pierogi?” Amethyst tentatively spoke, afraid of being to prodding with her actions. “Can I ask why?”

“Why?” Pearl’s eyes were open, a delicate eyebrow arched as she looked up at the shorter gem, puzzled.

“Why … you left.”

Pearl’s entire body tensed, blue eyes darting down to stare anywhere but at Amethyst. The shorter gem immediately regretted her question, all comfort of the moment shattered.

“Nevermind! I just - “

“No. I’ll tell you.” Pearl cut Amethyst off, locking their eyes together with such an intensity, the shorter gem almost flinched away. “You deserve to know, more than anyone else here.”

Amethyst nodded numbly, slouching back as Pearl seemed to collect her words for a moment. When the pale gem began her story, the other listened and sapped up every syllable of her words.

 

Pearl had been in emotional dilemma as she faced the reality of two things.

Steven maturing steadily and the development of her romantic relationship with Amethyst.

She thought it would be easier to ignore her past wounds now that she had the shorter gem to keep her warm, to remind her that she was a fully capable and strong gem, but some past scars just ran too ragged and too deep.

With every proclamation of love that Pearl struggled and failed to return, it further reminded her how badly she was still stuck on Rose. She just couldn’t operate on her own without being shrouded by negative emotions at her name. Pearl needed desperately to “find” herself.

So she left.

She decided if she were going to stay and fight on this Earth indefinitely, she had to find her own reason. She had to find a drive to fight that was not entirely strung on the name of an unrequited and deceased love.

Pearl dove full force into the world and ways of humans, determined to find her own care for them and her’s alone. She abandoned just about every aspect of being a gem, forcing herself to eat, drink, and sleep regularly and vowing to resist regeneration. She even, in her lower moments during the beginning of her journey, stole clothes from a small shop and wore those instead of the illusionary garments provided by her gem. Pearl had no money after all, so her only options to get what she needed at any points were petty theft.

Around two months of her mindless wandering, Pearl found herself in the midst of what seemed to be a motorcycle rally of sorts. There was nothing but rowdy and leather clad humans as far as the eye could see, engines roaring from all directions. Pearl was fully prepared to dismiss the suffocating crowds and move on until a couple, two heavily tattooed and pierced women who had a slight drunken flush on their faces flagged her down and commented of her worn clothing (she only had the first set of clothing she’d stolen earlier at that time) and interesting appearance. They stated she looked “cool” and that she should join them for the evening. Pearl figured she had nothing to lose, agreeing to accompany them.

What Pearl did not expect, however, was for them to whisk her to their hotel room and be given what they called “appropriate biker clothing” that she could wear, because they apparently had extras. The clothes were a tad too loose, but Pearl looked almost entirely different in it. Her shirt bared her entire stomach and the leather pants felt entirely foreign against her skin. Pearl had broken her vow to humanism that once to phase on boots similar to everyone else’s and her companions gave her their approval before she was dragged about again.

All she remembers of that night is drink upon drink thrust into her hand as they bar-hopped, feeling her memories cut off at the second shot of whiskey mixed with tequila. The next thing she remembers is waking up on the coffee table of her new friends’ hotel room, head pounding with a pink rose freshly tattooed on her arm and a purple jeweled stud now set on her navel.

Temptation to regenerate was strong, but Pearl had decided to rule that out, fully dedicated to acting human. She would heal like a human and have scars like one, too.

Her friends did not seem surprised that she had managed acquire the piercing and ink, for they too had new ones of their own it seemed. They waved it off as the consequence of a wild night. Pearl spent the next two days with them, enjoying the rally to its fullest and seeing the fun in humans for the first time in her life. On the last night, she found herself (slightly more sober than the last time) wandering back to the tattoo parlor again to have more roses added to the lone one, turning it into a half sleeve and having it wash away as it went further down her arm, signifying the beginning of her leaving her scars behind.

Except it seemed like she was replacing them with new scars. These ones were much prettier, however.

She waved the rally goodbye with a newfound purpose, having learned a little more about herself. Deciding to indulge the rebellious tickle in her chest, she dared to snag the keys on a positively beautiful fuschia bike, the keys belonging to some loud man at one of the shadier bar, the owner’s attention diverted to the fist fight he had been engaged in.

Her and that motorcycle drove for thousands of miles, Pearl quickly learning how to siphon gas out of parked vehicles when it’s tank neared empty. The pale gem had definitely done a lot of crime in her time away, and while there was a twinge of remorse, she felt more alive and herself than ever. She was deciding things for herself, doing things on her own accord and whims.

Pearl found her style, adopting the look of the many hardened bikers and lawless people she had come across down the road. They had even got her to smoke.

For years, she drove wherever the road took her. She barhopped constantly, pickpocketing to pay for her drinks and getting in bar fights, running from the authorities afterwards. On occasion she would stop at tattoo parlors tucked away in random towns, adding more ink and touching up the previous ones. She returned to the bike rally when it was held six years after the first one she attended, positive nobody would recognize the “borrowed” bike after such a long period of time to human standards. To her euphoria, she ran into her old friends. They were married now and thrilled to see her. They hung out like they had the first time, though with less drinking. One of them was expecting, after all.

Pearl waved goodbye to them yet again when the rally came to a close, surprised the find that a sad ache had placed itself in her heart. She waved it off as her not wishing to say goodbye, hopped on her motorcycle, and hit the road again. It wasn’t until the next night when she had made herself cozy on a park bench and ready to doze off for the night that her eyes caught the jewelry still nestled in her belly button, the significantly dulled glint of the purple stone decorating bringing back memories of love she had before she left.

Tears of longing slipped down her cheeks, clutching her chest as she realized that her journey was almost over.

The seventh year was the hardest. Rose was now almost completely behind her, Pearl having found her love for the ever complicated beauty and uniqueness of humanity and their lifestyles. Now she was coping with how she could possibly return, kicking herself for abandoning her lover more times than she could count.

On the eighth year, she made one last trip to an odd little tattoo parlor. She went with a fistful of cash that she had, for once, earned from doing odd jobs in the various cities she visited. She walked out ten hours later, sore but satisfied. For the first time, she sought out a map and made a plan with a destination.

Year nine was her last visit to the rally, not finding her old friends this time but leaving her precious motorcycle behind, parked with the keys in the ignition. Maybe some other lost soul will need it. Stars know she did.

It took her two weeks to trek back to Beach City, stopping once she arrived to marvel at the special sunset the town’s shoreline had. She only stopped staring at it when her name was called.

 

Amethyst swallowed thickly when Pearl finished her story, finding her eyes watering for some reason. Pearl’s eyes were downcast, seemingly ready for Amethyst to lash out for leaving for such frivolous reasons.

Her eyes widened as a single finger hooked around her chin, dragging her face to Amethyst’s as the shorter gem leaned down for a chaste, slow kiss. When they parted, a positively neon cerulean blush painted Pearl’s cheeks, overwhelmed by the intimacy of the moment.

“May I see …” Amethyst started hesitantly, hand moving so she caressed Pearl’s cheek, thumb massaging a flushed cheek. “May I see that last tattoo?”

Pearl stared silently for a moment before nodding slowly. She carefully removed herself from the shorter gem’s lap, standing before her as delicate fingers grasped the hem of her shirt, drawing it upwards and removing the shirt entirely, left in her bra and baring her tattoo proudly.

Centered between and below her breasts was a vibrant violet, the petals of it flourishing out and framed by delicate lacework patterns that accentuated the curvature of her breasts and trailed further down her ribs. Nestled in the center of the flower was a single, purple, six faceted stone.

An amethyst.

 

A purple hand mechanically reached out, grasping a pale one and tugging Pearl closer until she had to straddle Amethyst on the couch, blushing hard and finding it difficult to meet the smaller gem’s eye.

“I love it.”

Pearl sputtered for a bit before Amethyst silenced her with another kiss, the two melting into each other and focusing on nothing but the slow dance of lips and tongue that promptly ensued. Amethyst’s hand splayed and wandered all of Pearl’s torso, sliding against her dainty ribcage and caressing the tattoo placed there with such tender kindness that Pearl thought she might cry with happiness right then and there.

For the first time, Pearl and Amethyst had each other’s undivided love. No past events hindered them and they planned to fully enjoy their whole-hearted affection.

Soon, Amethyst’s tank top was tossed off and both gems’ pants were also discarded, Pearl now underneath Amethyst and panting as the shorter gem latched onto her sensitive neck, sucking and biting. She hardly noticed stumpy hands wiggle under her back to unclasp her bra and toss it aside, breathy mewls escaping her lips as plump lips descended from her neck to her collarbone, slowly descending then abruptly stopping. It took Pearl a moment to snap back and realize the other stopped her ministrations completely. Her mind reeled for a bit before her face instantly lit the brightest blue possible.

“ _Wow_ , Pearl!” Amethyst beamed, the grin on her face reaching her eyes as she could hardly contain her surprise. “You’re just an endless pit of surprises, huh?”

Pearl was about to reply, butt back maybe, but was hindered incoherent when Amethyst kneaded her breasts, thumbs flicking the tiny silver balls dotting the ends of the piercings set on her pert, blue nipples. Pearl had to suck a shuddering breath through clenched teeth as Amethyst swiped her tongue over one, suckling on it briefly before releasing it with a loud pop!

“You didn’t mention _these_ in your story, Pearly.” Amethyst teased, tugging lightly on one piercing with her teeth and smirking at the strangled whimper it spurred from Pearl.

“I got into a fist fight with some girl and then we went drinking together. She was a piercer and I woke up with them.” Pearl explained breathlessly. Pearl vaguely recalled the stranger saying something about the added jewelry making things ten times more sensitive but stars she was right and Amethyst took full advantage of it. She became lightheaded pleasure, every tug and pull of the jewelry feeling positively electric.

It didn’t take long for stout and calloused fingers to slide between Pearl’s legs and underneath her panties, dragging slowly but firmly against her core and reducing her to whimpers and shivers. Her legs felt like jelly as Amethyst inched a single digit in, giving a few tentative and gentle thrusts.

“How ya doin’, P-pod?” Amethyst murmured against her collarbone, pressing a smattering of kisses on the flushed skin there and thrusting a tad faster and deeper.

“G-Good, _oh stars_.” Pearl choked out, fingers digging into the purple gems unruly lavender hair. She let out a high pitched squeal of Amethyst’s name when said gem’s finger curled in just the right place, causing her hips to jerk sharply.

“Feel good?” Amethyst smirked, adding a second finger and letting her other hand return to tweaking a pierced nipple, watching her lover unravel beneath her. Pearl hadn’t experienced any intimacy during her disappearance and came undone rather quickly, back arching like a bow as her nails dug into purple shoulder, one last cry escaping her. Her chest heaved as she came down, barely able to return the slow kiss Amethyst gave her as she did. She was promptly swaddled in said purple gem’s arms as she came back to reality, extracting herself when she was grounded to return the favor with her head between Amethyst’s legs.

They spent a substantial amount of time together, re-exploring each other's’ sensitive spots and celebrating the intimacy of being together again. They only broke apart when the realized it was around dinner time, Amethyst phasing on her clothes while Pearl had to pick her’s back up to put them back on. Amethyst went ahead into the house, Pearl retreating back to her room to reapply her makeup.

Steven, Jasper, and Peridot were the ones who mainly handled the cooking in the house. Steven mainly out of necessity and the other two because Peridot was fascinated by food and it’s intricacies and Jasper because she had come to enjoy eating as much as Amethyst, almost at the same level. The number of gems who ate semi-regularly went from three to six to five, meaning a lot more cooking was required.

Amethyst sat at the counter with Garnet and Lapis as the three worked across from them in the little kitchenette, feet dangling eyes closed as the room full of gems bustled in a comfortable silence.

Until the sound of Pearl’s door opening interrupted it.

Pearl stepped out, running a hand through her hair and eyes framed is coal black once again. Steven, still a bundle of positivity even as a grown man, happily greeted her as if the atmosphere in the room hadn’t gotten slightly tenser. Pearl smiled at him slowly making her way to the counter to seat herself between Amethyst and Lapis, trying to ignore the awkward air. Amethyst wiggled a hand underneath the counter, winding her fingers with Pearl’s in support. Jasper turned to stiffly place a plate of food in front of everyone - everyone but Pearl.

“Eh … Jasper? P eats now.” Amethyst said nervously, sensing the discomfort radiating from Pearl.

“Shit, really?” Jasper muttered, slightly surprised. “Sorry. We … uh, only made enough for six.”

“It’s fine really.” Pearl waved her off, not wishing to cause any trouble. “I can go without-”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Steven suddenly cut in. “Have some of mine!” A plate was plopped in front of her, Steven scooping a quarter of his food onto it. Amethyst quickly followed suit in doing the same, Pearl beaming at both of them in thanks.

All seven Crystal Gems ate silently at first, but before long, each one of them was smiling and laughing with mouthfuls of home cooked food, a happy family in every way.

For once Pearl wore a smile that reached her eyes, the ache that was in her heart nine years ago replaced with love for her fellow gems and the Earth she stood on and the humans that stood in it with her.

For the first time, Pearl was truly happy.

 

(bonus heh)

**Author's Note:**

> Will be continued.


End file.
